Leather and Lace 101

     During the first two months of my 8th grade year, my brother and I attended a private Christian school named Victoryville in central Kansas.
     I was thrilled beyond words because there were only 13 kids in the whole school. It was in the country, and sounded peaceful and friendly. I confess my shy little non-athletic bookworm heart was thrilled mostly because the school didn’t have Phys. Ed.
     The night before my first day of school at this Christian haven, I stayed up all night making a brand new book bag. it was big and gaudy – and shiny! – made of gold lame upholstery material and had handy-dandy pencil pockets sewn on the side.
     I poured heart and soul into that creation, celebrating a n new start, eager to begin a new life where people might understand me.
     Me and my brand new bag got funny looks from the small school staff.
     After a couple weeks, the school’s young assistant principal who also served as church deacon summoned me to his office. He was concerned I only socialized with girls. He went on to explain it wasn’t normal for a 14-year-old boy to socialize with girls. Then he said ever-so-somberly, “I’ve heard it said you might be … (lowered voice and stern look) a sissy.”
He handed me a book and ordered me to read it. Leather & Lace. It would magically teach me how boys act, and how girls act.
     I dropped the book on his desk and walked out.
     I flunked Leather and Lace 101. I probably could have passed if I’d read the book. Maybe it would have instructed me how to react appropriately in such a situation. To do something really macho-man-like to impress my worried elder. Like punch the lights out of his smug face. Or shove the book so far up his ass he choked on it.

 

the power of positive thinking

sitting in the dentist’s chair
contemplating the virtues
of an anxiety attack,
the dentist accosts me
with a needle full of Novocain
saying, “Now think of something pleasant!”

as he punctures my gums with the needle,
always eager to cooperate,
I think of new boyfriend Robert,
how he kisses,
how he sits astride me
as he jacks off,
his handsome face
as he finds a frantic orgasm

 
from michael's
new book

cosmic children