epoch
I can’t make my calendar with epochs.
I looked in the sky and my neck became sore. I looked
up for a long time and all I can remember was how bad
my fucking neck felt. In retrospect I should have just
layed on the ground to look.
The cold, cold frosty ground. Five A.M.
Well I saw it.
I saw it in all of its majesty. The streaks were all over
the sky. Stars, rock stuff streaking through our
atmosphere. Not getting where I envisioned they
wanted to go. Our awe and entertainment were their
destruction.
It was twenty five fucking degrees out there.
Thought of the films they showed in our high school
sex Ed class. Sperms bombarding an egg. That was
gross but intriguing. Some hit some didn’t. Racing
nowhere. One lucky one would make it in they said. I
suppose I believe all that. Still would like a little
proof.
Pictures are usually proof.
Looked at that sky and watched the space sperm.
Wondering if a meteorite hit the earth and impregnated
our fertile blue and green. Would it transform and
grow into some super nebula space monster. Maybe
an infinite super being. Yeah, I liked that thought.
Maybe the super being had a neat hat or helmet like
old knights wore.
I couldn’t get jazzed over the spectacle. Frankly I’ve
seen more impressive things on TV and the movies.
Special effects folks can create anything these days
and it looks cooler. You can’t rewind a meteor shower
and watch it over and over. Nature does things on its
own time and not enough.
How do I even know I was seeing what I was seeing?
On my favorite wrestling program they show lots of
commercials about new video games. The effects are
amazing. Crashes, explosions, and heroes that are
other-worldly. Colors, impact, speed. All within three
minute spans. Remarkable. Just remarkable.
Freezing I gathered myself and went to the diner in our
little town. I sat down and warmed myself with some
coffee at the counter. The hippies that lived down the
street were there and asked me if I had seen the lights.
Sure I said. They said, “Wasn’t it the most amazing
thing I had ever seen?” “No” I said. “No?” they asked
incredulously.
“No.”
“No it wasn’t that impressive.”
I explained that I can’t mark my calendar with epochs.
I think they understood.
My T-shirt Idea
I saw a fascinating program the other day about gangs. Gangs, like in “gang-bangers”
and tough street life stuff.
There was one fellow who had been killed in gang related violence and the story was
rather sad. In the anticipation of his death he had designed t-shirts that he wanted his
family, friends and fellow gang members to wear at his funeral. They said something to
the effect of “In memory of…..”
Well the show went on to say many of America’s gang culture do the same thing. I
couldn’t shake the morbidity of it. The feeling of such emptiness and hopelessness was
profound to me.
But I had an idea.
I was going to design a shirt for people to wear to my funeral. I brainstormed
and thought about it for days. The right feeling escaped me. I wanted something that
summed up my existence, an epitaph to put on a Fruit of the Loom. As I labored over the
thought I finally realized, this shit is harder than I anticipated.
But driving through the Jack in The Box drive-through on Tuesday it hit me. I can
always count on great epiphany’s when I am within 40 feet of fast food. So now I have
it. I figure sixteen shirts will do but I need to make a couple of them XXXL. I have
some really fat friends. I’ve tried to help them lose weight but that’s another barrel of
pickles.
My shirt is done and I am happy with the quote. It reads, “Charlie Nast went to the
Divine Everlasting and all I got was this crummy shirt”.
Yeah, I can live, or die, with that one.
